Love and Be Loved

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I am Overwhelmed to write about Love

Towards my Husband – He Reciprocates it
Towards my Son – He Grows it
Towards my Dad – He Nurtures it
Towards my Mom – Its Unconditional, She Showers back in infinity
Towards My Sibs – They Enjoy it.

What a magic… Presence of love is always heaven.

Im in heaven.

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Be contented….

The person richest on the earth are those contented..

Will share a story..

Four years back, the day started normal  for me… Walked from my hostel to T.Nagar bus stand to catch a bus to my office.

The sun was scorching in the morning 8.30 AM, that was April so imagine the heat in Chennai….

In the bus stand, A woman, covered her little baby and held close to her chest. After some time she came from the shade and started begging, removed the cloth which covered her baby… that tender skin  became pink because of heat.

The heat burn for the baby will definitely hurt the mother… how could she do that.

I (almost all mothers) will be hurt if there is a small scratch on her baby…

Many scolded her for this act… I could understand her situation.

“Heat burn is better than hunger” she actually gives something better to her child…

I don’t know how I reached Thoraipakkam bus stop.  My heart was heavy.

Compared my life… How blessed I am….

I took the point of success…”Be contented and then wish for more”

Cast out Caste atleast in Facebook.

 

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Indian Constitution abolished Caste system, but only in constitutional papers.

Lets not get in to the riot and debate of whether caste system is abolished in India or not.

Very straight… Its not been abolished and cant be (so sad…).

People reading this can be angry… but friends.

Is young generation against caste system ? still we have so many caste groups in Facebook like Sozhia vellalar group, Kongu vellalar family, Nadar, Naidu, Nattu Gounder….. and  many more, name a caste you will find a group in Facebook.

Just think about it…  and do we really need it?

Instead of we coming out of caste discrimination, growing it with the help of technology too.

If you are against caste system like the page else ps give your view and comment.

 

Are you watching Got talent, Indian Idol, American Idol….. wow talent shows..

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I am writing this to all parents in the world….

Are you a fan of talent shows in TV..?

Fascinated about how could a 4 year old girl do a perfect ballot?, how could a preschooler do error free gymnastics?….

Wow factor always attaches to something tele casted and congratulated by 3 judges.. (I am no way criticizing those amazing talents and the shows)..

The point is…

We have a continuous performer at our home. How many of us watch them and their details of growth.

He starts turning to his chest in the age of 4 months..

moves front and back at 6 months.

Supports whole weight on legs when held upright at 8 months

Looks at correct picture when an image is named around his first birth day

Walks, runs, plays alone in his second birthday

Enters into conflict with peers, he wins or looses doesn’t matter… still maintains good relationship… what a positive attitude?

Everyone can say these are all general milestones of baby growth… yes, of course.

But every child is fighting against its inabilities and wins over it, we simply call it as growth.

We have to see and encourage each and every effort made by our kids… At some point of time we will come across his special talent which should not be missed out….

The talent spotted right and focused by parents/self are in the talent shows….

So… get into the details of your kids effort. Do maximum to  spot his talent and develop it.

He will top the talent shows….

Morality…. Expected in every individual.. but?

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Be it our Boss, Organization, Subordinates, Customer service executives, Retail shop billers, bus conductors…… and so on.

Whom so ever we contact in daily life is expected to maintain morality.

Where does it come from? DNA?? (don’t blame on it)

Its to be imparted from childhood…. like how we teach our kids to master from brushing his teeth to tieing his shoe lays.

we used to attend moral science period weekly thrice in our school(I mean 2 decades back). This used to be an interesting class equivalent to P.Ed class. Moral science teacher used to tell interesting stories with a moral in each. We learnt many good morals in that short stories.. If not all,we follow certain morals learnt in our childhood.

But in current education system… we have.

Maths, Biology, Language, Social studies,P.Ed (Least bothered, generally utilized by science teachers) classes…

Where is Moral Science class? Its occupied by main subject classes.

By missing moral science class we are missing out completeness of education. 

We find many shocking news around the world which is not expected from students community…

The moral quotient is degrading in today’s generation, to confirm this you don’t want to take a survey. Just speak to a teacher… she will tell… Students are bright to average in studies but they lack basic discipline, they are not wishing teachers and passes comments on them…. so on.

This generation are very smart and powered by all technologies, for sure they are going to make big money. But without moral in their life.

All educationists should think about this and rework on the syllabus. Parents too should contribute equally. 

“Morality, like art is drawing a line somewhere”

 

Blame it on the situation, not the person

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You will always name at least two person as answer for….

Are you angry on any person?

Is there anybody whom you thing you are not their priority (esp whom you  think as your priority)

Anybody in your team reacts differently that hurts you?

I bet everybody will have some names for it.

but friends….

before judging the person judge their environment/situation, you will surely conclude the blame is on the environment.

For example…

That was my son’s first b’day. Invited few people those are close to our heart.

One of my friends didn’t turn up and she told “Unexpected guest came home so couldn’t attend the function”

I got angry and said nothing, cut the call.

later realized she wants to come but her situation didn’t allow her. I would have done the same thing in her situation.

If you don’t understand the situation and blame the other person, your perception is wrong. By this your relation with the person will be spoiled for no reasons..

Quit, when you think its no longer going to work….. Trying harder is stupid certain times.

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Boss called me and gave a project, felt he believed me.

was so motivated about he selected me to do this when there are couple of experienced hands, I dont want to get into the negative track of why he has selected me to do this having more experienced people out there….

That project, if finished successfully, will add up to the company’s profit (a decent %).

Started with full enthusiasm and want to prove my stuff to the team.

How to start and go about it is my area of scope. Somehow done 30% which are all the basic ground work, I couldn’t go beyond that, felt my ideas and execution doesn’t work.

I worked hard, traveled lengths and breadths of Tamil Nadu, met many people. Planned each and every day and executed, something went wrong. Feedback from boss was “just go ahead”.

Some point of time realized this single project has already consumed 2 months in the financial year. I am not in track of my KRA (Key Responsible Area). This will badly impact on my performance appraisal.

Quit, when you think its no longer going to work… Trying harder is stupid certain times.

I learnt this during my quarterly appraisal. My Boss saw the progress and was unhappy  about my KRA and the special project both. He said, Understood the project needs good experience to handle.

‘Goddamnit’, I wasted a quarter of year for his experimentation. The problem is not with my boss, it was with me.

The time when i thought trying harder will not bring the result what is expected, I should have stood up and said, “Boss i couldn’t handle this, If i continue its waste of your time and my time”. In his case trying harder messed up.  HARD WORK NEVER FAILS IF PUT ON RIGHT THINGS

I was pissed off… so much of anger, It made positive change in me

In continuation of my previous post….

I somehow managed to get into Spencer’s.

I was reluctant to accept the change that no body is behind me to say “I am there with you”.

actually i was used to this psychological dependence from my childhood, these words will be uttered  by my Mother/father/brother/sister/lover(now my husband:-))/Friends.

Now all alone in the new job, felt like a lonely tree without roots to hold. 

The day of Induction in Calcutta, there were around 50 new joiners in my batch, We were called RMT-2007 (Retail Management Trainees). We are from different parts of the country.

Introduction session,

“Bony from manipur, studied … here, my hobbies are….., My strengths are….., I enjoy…..” 

“Vishal anand from pune, ……………….” he was speaking atleast for 2 min. Many followed and spoke fluently except one or two like me

Finally

“Shalini from TN” thats it. I couldnt speak more. I wondered where these people got the flow?

It was break, 4 to 5 like minds formed their own group, its awkward to stay alone so i tried to cling to one of the groups, actually i couldn’t get along well with groups.

That was 6 days induction programme. Was in the same scene for 3 days. People gave their views, answered uninterruptedly when asked a question, Shooting questions (some of the questions was what i thought but decided not to ask). I was a silent observer.

What the hell am I doing here?

I was pissed off….. so much of anger. Decided to interact something weather its right or wrong…. 

4 th day I dont want to think what will happen if i am wrong, how fluent will I be?, what others will think if it is a stupid question?…. didnt give time for my mind to think of these….

Just asked a few questions, people around looked at me as if unexpected happened.

That was the time when I broke my inhibitions, that anger made me to do…

Later I was fair in interacting with people and last 3 days passed with ease.

Take away point : We will be good at certain skills but will be reluctant to exhibit that skill in a new environment, Just break your inhibition after all you will be master of it after breaking the inhibitions.